In my work supporting clients through grief, I guide them to move with their grief in a way that honors both containment and release. Grief requires two vital components: the ability to hold space for it and to allow it to flow. Many of us try to process grief alone, but it becomes clear that this isn’t possible. Most people become their own containment fields, struggling to hold everything in isolation. As Francis Wheeler suggests, we must slow down and quiet ourselves to truly work with grief, yet this process is often uncomfortable. It can bring us face to face with stress, trauma, and other difficult energies that need to be digested. This digestion allows us to ease into the stillness and slowness necessary for transformation during the Long Dark of grief.

Supporting clients to develop a relationship with their grief involves befriending the mess, the pain, and the hurt—building capacity to be with these energies from a grounded, adult perspective. This adult stance is about being present for what is, acknowledging the grief and its teachings without succumbing to the survival instincts of the inner child. When we approach our sorrow with softness, we open ourselves to the deeper revelations that grief can offer. At the threshold of loss, we discover that by opening our hearts to what troubles us, we simultaneously invite the soul's deeper impulses. This shift cultivates a sense of hospitality towards sorrow, allowing it to ripen us and deepen our capacity to be with what is, as we become more whole and resilient beings. This approach is not just individual work; it's a collective process. In grief, we come together, not as isolated individuals but as a village, a relational field where knowing emerges over time—not through historical narratives but through the vulnerability and sacredness we share in ritual space. This shared experience creates a deep, soul-level knowing, a connection to each other that transcends individual stories and becomes a profound tool for healing.